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Shame on you, John Cusack

Shame on you for making a movie that not even Rob Schneider would put on his resume. I’m referring, of course, to Tapeheads, your deeply unfunny movie from 1988.

Really, John, what were you thinking? When they handed you the script, did you think “Now there’s a movie that’s sure to increase my popularity with the important drunken idiot demographic while, at the same time, thoroughly compromising my artistic integrity!”

True, you did go on to later prove yourself with such classics as Say Anything, Gross Pointe Blank, Being John Malkovich, and the unforgettable High Fidelity, but after viewing the wasteland that is Tapeheads, I’m left wondering how you ever found employment in Hollywood again. I hope that when you someday look back on your career, you’ll recognize this film for what it is: the cinematic equivalent of being torn apart by timber wolves while everyone youíve ever really loved points and laughs. Afterwards, maybe they divvy up your stuff, and that bitch who dumped you freshman year gets your CD collection. Thatís how bad this movie is.

Seriously, John. Iíll never get those 88 minutes of my life back. I think someone owes me an apology.

Posted in Musings.

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