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Screaming Infidelities

I’m just now hopping on the Dashboard Confessional bandwagon, and I must say, it’s about damn time. For someone who presumes to be as bursting with pop culture knowledge as I do, I’m surprisingly behind the times on this one. Anyway, the guy is awesome, but it’s a good thing I’m not having girl issues at the moment; if I was, I’d likely be about three riffs from stepping off a ledge. In that sense his music is beautiful and terrible at the same time, like a naked supermodel murdering a puppy.

Some guy in my STAT section today, pushed by instructor incompetence, emotional fragility, and what I can only assume must be a massive, undulating ego, finally snapped. We got our midterms back, with the class average set at a whopping 56%. As the TA explained the grading procedure to everyone, this guy visibly started to lose it, furrowing his brow with terrifying frequency, a sheen of sweat beading on his forehead. Eventually it built up to the point where he raised his hand to ask a question. I wasn’t paying attention, but the answer must not have been to his liking, because he started swearing, in the middle of class. Not terribly loudly, but not quite under his breath, either. “… cocksucker … mumble … motherfucker … what the fuck is this bullshit …” and so on ad nauseum. The Zach of my daytime imaginings (Zach2k3, as I refer to him) turned to him wearing a glib smile and told him to shut up and accept responsibility for his own failures like a reasonable adult. Meanwhile, my actual self, firmly grounded in reality and with a sneaking fear that he may well be packing a rod somewhere under that hoodie, managed nothing more severe than a halfway turnaround. I’ve utilized this same tactic several times on gaggles of teenage girls in movie theaters, with mixed results. But he did eventually stop, so I felt like I effected a change in the world. And a gold star for Tuesday!

Posted in Musings.


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