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I fought the law, winner to be announced Friday

It was darn near 80 degrees this afternoon, so when I ran into Kelly we decided it was too hot not to jump into Drumheller fountain in broad daylight. This we did, along with Caitlin and Jared. We swam around for the better part of an hour, and were joined by almost a dozen people who happened to walk by, including Dillon, Mebbie, Eric, and some of their friends. By the time we were getting ready to leave, all fear of apprehension had evaporated in the sun. After all, we had been there for almost an hour and no hint of law enforcement had reared its ugly head, and for that matter, we weren’t entirely certain what we were doing was against the law. But, in Mebbie’s words, “It’s too fun not to be illegal.”

As we gathered our things and lovingly surveyed the scene one last time, a lone police car rolled slowly up to the fountain from Red Square. No one needed any prompting, but I took the lead anyway in walking quickly away from the fountain towards Sieg hall and safety. “Come on guys, step lightly. They can’t arrest us for being wet.” No sooner had the words left my mouth than the voice of authority boomed from the car’s loudspeaker: “YOU, IN THE SWIMSUIT! COME HERE!” The rest of us were dressed more or less normally, but Kelly still had on her skimpy lavender bikini, which is kind of a give-away.

The officer was very stern, and wrote all of our names down to the middle initial. “Why were you in the fountain?” he asked angrily. Apparently the heat and clear water hadn’t occurred to him, and so he assumed terrorist activities. While he was querying Kelly and Caitlin (Jared was in jeans and not noticeably wet and so didn’t get singled out like us), I talked to his partner. “I can’t believe you guys went in there! It’s disgusting!” he laughed. “Not right now, it’s not. That’s why we felt obligated; it won’t be this clean for long,” I informed him. He laughed again. He obviously considered us to be good ol’ kids up to healthy shenanigans, while his partner continued giving us the third degree. They both sported lustrous mustaches and substantial paunches, but they were exact opposites in personality. It was like an unintentional good-cop bad-cop being played out in front of us. Bad-cop told us to use the common sense God (“or, you know, whoever”) gave us and restrict our swimming to designated areas of campus, and we assured him we would. Never once did he quote an RCW statute, and I’m still not convinced we did anything illegal, just frowned upon.

Bethany, off on the sidelines, took a picture of us talking to the police with Drumheller squirting in the backdrop. I called Heather (my editor), and not only will my article about night swimming run on Friday as planned, if I can get the picture to her by tomorrow it will run alongside. That’s hard-hitting journalism. I’m really hoping that no members of the UWPD read the article and recognize my name or face, especially since I end the piece by encouraging the student body to copy me. We’ll find out soon.

I can smell the end of the quarter. That’s how close it is. And I’ll tell you this: it smells afraid. I’ve got it on the ropes and bleeding, and nothing short of a national collaboration of super villains can stop me now.

Posted in Musings.

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