Quiz night returns

Unfortunately, the Virgins for Life are going it without me, me having been struck down by a questionable piece of garlic chicken earlier today and unable to stomach even the thought of alcohol and cigarettes. But Zach, you could just go to the bar and not drink or smoke, couldn’t you? Do not force me to laugh. It would be unseemly. Alice is fighting in my stead and, between just you and me, she’s the one with the brains — except when it comes to the Simpsons or South Park, arenas in which I reign unquestionably.

The chicken in question originated in the warming trays of Thai Place, an aptly named Thai restaurant inside the Uwajimaya food court that serves its meals from a buffet line and where I eat at least once a week. The food isn’t very good, to be honest, and sitting out for hours before being served can’t help matters any, but the convenience of it being across the street from work and the speed with which I can go from zero to Thai food keep me coming back. The price one pays for such convenience is the occasional internal gurgle; I feel it’s a fair one.

In related news, Alice now works at Specialties, a delicatessen in the same plaza as my building. The upshot of this arrangement, besides being able to take lovey-dovey breaks during the day, is all the free bread she can smuggle out. I’m glad that neither of us is on the Atkins diet — oh, wait, that’s right, neither of us are total retards. Diss!