With a potential body like this, who needs a degree?

As you should by this point be well aware, here at the Musgrave abode, fitness is our number one priority. That’s why you can find me, day or night, engaged in any number of healthy lifestyle-type choices, such as the frying and eating of savory chicken, the smoking of wholesome, relaxing Lucky Strike cigarettes, and the playing of classic SNES games for hours at a time.

It wasn’t long ago that I made a startling discovery: the above activities were beginning to wear away at my jaw-droppingly manly physique and, shall we say, physical stamina. While each cool, mellow drag of a cigarette or sticky pastry amounted to a drop in the bucket, in the aggregate they threatened to tear down the chiseled edifice of my youthful beauty.

Since new years, I’ve made a couple significant changes to how I treat this beautiful bod. These aren’t resolutions, because I believe that an arbitrary point in our planet’s revolution shouldn’t compel us to change our lives, especially not for the better. But here they are:

I’ve quit smoking. My mother will be thrilled. Phillip Morris and R.J. Reynolds will not.

I no longer eat every lunch out of the steam trays at Thai Place in Uwajimaya, regardless of the deliciousness per unit time ratio. Their chicken is so greasy that swallowing after chewing is strictly optional.

I’ve started swimming laps on a thrice-weekly basis at the YMCA, displacing several octogenarians with my wake.

I shaved my beard. I’m too pretty to hide behind all that hair!

I actually bought a membership to the Y before Thanksgiving, but — wonder of wonders — didn’t actually manage to make it there for a workout until last week. I have since learned many things about the Y and its amenities. These include: naked, wrinkly, shameless old men; a racquetball court. Oh, there’s also a pool. It’s only three lanes, but it’s not in very high demand from what I can tell and it gets the job done. But seriously, about those naked, wrinkly, shameless old men: I just find them amusing, but I’ve seen fear in the eyes of less stalwart men, and on my first day working out one of them took it upon himself to try and welcome a plainly terrified Asian man who didn’t seem to speak English and stood clutching his towel while his nude assailant asked him in loud, slow English if he knew about the steam room, the Jacuzzi, the racquetball court. It was actually very sweet.

So, in closing, yes I’m alive and I’ll update my website when I’m good and ready and not a moment sooner.

How have you been?

Posted in Musings.