Questionnaire

Were you disappointed with season 2 of Lost? Do you wish to express your lack of faith in the aimless writers, maybe encourage them to advance the plot more than 3 minutes per episode? Are you OK with expressing this sentiment in big letters on your chest? I have just the shirt for you.

I know what you’re thinking. “It doesn’t even say ‘lost’ on the shirt.” I spit on you. Anyone who cares enough to boycott season three will recognize the dharma logo, so take your negative attitude to Russia with the rest of the commies, commie. Besides, the fewer people who understand your t shirt the cooler you are for wearing it. It’s actually an inverse-squared relationship, for you mathletes.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m going to watch season three, and the writers of Lost know it. But I’m not happy about this fact, which is why I want a lot of people to buy and wear this shirt in protest. That way maybe one of the writers will see it and feel well-earned shame. If you live in the Seattle area and have $15 that aren’t doing anything for you right now, drop me a line and we’ll talk sizing.

I know I’m not the only person pissed about this. I mean come on. Think about all the plot threads they’ve dropped — when’s the last time anyone saw the monster that used to kill like 3 guys an episode? Think about the fact that the back stories / flashbacks are now actually taking place on the island. Finally, think about how many times they lured you in with “an all new Lost” only to broadcast a recapisode of old patchwork footage. All of that would be forgivable if I believed they would someday explain all the mysteries they’ve introduced, but in my heart of hearts I know they’re going to give us some bullshit copout, like the whole thing is a virtual reality simulation inside the Hanso Foundation, or else it’s a dream they’re all having on the plane with the help of Walt’s psychic influence. Just watch.

So buy a shirt. It’s the least you can do.