Stupid analog book with its physical dimensions and dumb font

I just started The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, and it’s already clear that my beloved Kindle has ruined me for analog media. A thick, heavy hardback book feels incredibly bulky, unwieldy after carrying around the svelte, pencil-thin Kindle. The disadvantages of the hardback are legion: bigger and heavier; no one-handed reading; no built-in dictionary, so words don’t get looked up; won’t lie flat without a weight; no built-in clock; manual bookmarking and place keeping. Although I’m finding Franzen’s novel delightful, I can’t help but view its antiquated vessel with something like mild contempt.

This is how bad it is: I only barely restrained myself from buying the digital copy for $10, even though I had picked up the handsome, jacketed hardback at Half Price Books for $1. In the end, as I agonized, finger hovering over the “Buy” button on the built-in Kindle book store, I asked myself, “Am I really that guy? Really?” I say to you now, emphatically, I am not. Yet.